Why restaurants are annoying

This article will proceed in ascending order of annoyingness, with the first paragraph talking about the least annoying element to the last paragraph talking about the most annoying element.

It sucks when you approach a restaurant and you’re dodged by a man who tells you “Sir, waiting!” and you ask him how long it’ll take for him to get you 4 basic wooden chairs and a table, to which he replies “45 minutes”. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR 45 MINUTES? I WANT FOOD AND I WANT IT NOW. Anyhow, you give her your name and contact number and head off to another direction to kill time for the next time 45 minutes and the minute you reach the other side of the mall/ market, you get a call saying “Sir, table is ready”. IF YOU KNEW IT WOULD TAKE LESS THAN 45 MINUTES, I WOULDN’T HAVE WALKED ALL THE WAY TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MALL!

Once you finally get settled in your table, you realize that the fancy restaurant you chose had live singers. Not live singers like Bon Jovi or Adele, nameless live singers who sing, or shall I say reckon Jagjit Singh (RIP, Sir) and Kishore Kumar songs day after day while customers miserably gulp food down their throats and give false assurance to their ears, telling them how it’ll all soon be over and the singers will go for a break.. BUT THEY NEVER DO.

Say, you go to a Chinese restaurant and ask the waiter to make your food spicy/ less spicy, you would expect your food to be as per your specifications, but NO, the chef will do what is convenient for him. Adding or abstaining from adding an extra spoon of chilli is obviously a very taxing job. Regardless of what you ask them to do- making it less oily, making it sour, serving it hot, serving it crisp- they’ll serve it as they feel like. Motto of restaurant chefs- “Customers are losers. Lol. They suck.”

Waiters. How do I even begin to express my disapproval for waiters? They’ll pester you every 5 minutes asking you if you’re ready to order, they’ll ask you “Veg or non veg” when you’ve explicitly told him that you’re a vegetarian, they’ll take forever to get the bill, they’ll bother you by asking how to food is and so on. If you ask them to suggest you something, they’ll say “You can get anything on the menu” OH REALLY? THAT’S HOW IT WORKS IN A RESTAURANT? I ASKED YOU TO RECOMMEND SOMETHING BUT THAT WAS A TRICK QUESTION.