We have all been ditched by electronics. Computers, Internet, iPods, Phones, Printers, Televisions- they are nothing but tools of Satan. He first got us addicted to his tools and every now and then whenever he wants to piss us off, he wrecks the device and fucks with our brains. It’s pretty close to drug addiction.. without any screaming by Kangana Ranuat though (basically because I feel she can’t use electronics).
What good is a computer without Internet? When there’s a power cut or your internet services have been blocked because you forgot to pay the internet bill, you say to yourself, “How bad can this be? I can watch movies, play solitaire, explore features I never knew my PC had.” But let’s face it. You NEVER want to watch the movies you already have in your computer, Solitaire.. really? And those hidden features soon cease to amuse you. Your internet is working fine, but your computer breaks down. You say to yourself, “I can finally use internet on my Wi-Fi phone”. Nightmare. The screen is so small, all websites have crap in name of mobile sites and most websites need Java.. and when you go to download Java, mother nature tells you that your phone doesn’t support Java.
Every phone has its mid life crisis. It stops receiving text messages, switches on and off according to its own whims, formats itself and deletes all your contacts etc. The phone’s mid life crisis turns into a quarter life crisis for teenagers, for whom non delivery of text messages is worse than the end of the world. AND LOSING CONTACTS? HOW WILL I EVER RESTORE MY CONTACTS? IT’S NOT LIKE I MEET THE PEOPLE WHO’S CONTACTS I’VE LOST EVERYDAY.
Do I even need to explain how evil printers are? Check this out- http://theoatmeal.com/comics/printers. Has your printer ever actually printed something when you need it the most? Printers, very conveniently, stop working without fail every time before a project, application, form etc. The cartridge is always low, frequency of paper jams is always high, unknown error, aka “E89304” blinking in red rules our lives. I won’t say much about printers because it is sitting in front of me and staring at me creepily.
To conclude, THIS IS A CHAIN LETTER. STOP READING RIGHT NOW OR YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEXT FRIDAY. ERR.. YOU WILL BE STRANGLED BY YOUR PRINTER AND LAPTOP ON THE NEXT TUESDAY. FORWARD THIS TO 10 OTHER JERKS IF YOU WANT THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.. ERR YOUR NECK TO BE SAVED FROM STRANGLING.
Tushar K. Aggarwal
hahahahaha
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