The Dog Cribs about Western Music

What’s the deal with this western music? Why is it getting so loud these days? Do the composers not know that we hear things a lot louder than them? And do they not realize that we may not listen to the music directly but our owners do and we have to bear it? Let me elaborate.

This thing called GaGa. What, woman.. man.. thing? She thinks that she’ll just walk in singing “Ra Ra Ra Roma-ma” and we’ll take it. When I first heard this song, I had to go to the Himalyas to get my cool back. It’s so sudden. I mean what the hell? Want to know the reason why I’m so nervous right now? My owner is listening to Telephone. I think his record is broken because it keeps on saying E-E-E-E-E Stop Telephonin’.. I move every time she says “E”. Earlier he was listening to Poker Face, there she keeps on saying “P-P-P-Poker Face”. I think all his CDs are broken. Or maybe GaGa just doesn’t have much to say.

That high pitched bitch Taylor Swift. What can I do if her boyfriend is not ready to say yes to her love story? She has teardrops on her guitar. Sad. But did I punch her (Though I’d love to do that)? Is that why she got teardrops? I hope the strings of her guitar get rusted because of the teardrops and she never gets to play again. And she really thinks that someone will belong to her after her atrocious singing and witchy looks.

These rock/ metal bands. They scream and call it music. They break their guitars and call it music. They rip drum membranes and call it music. Hey! I have a nice idea. The next time I go poop in the park, I’ll make a really fancy music video, play at a really loud concert and claim to have made music. Or maybe the next time the neighbor’s dog (Even though I loathe that guy) and I bark at each other, we’ll record it and sell it as the latest single. It will be revolutionary.

The owner just started listening to Ella Fitzgerald. I should rush and start listening to it. It’s like a lullaby. What a relief. Why don’t they make such delightful songs anymore? I “Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer” .. Am “Had a very shiny nose” ..going “Lalalalala” Off I go!

Tushar K. Aggarwal