The State of The Web 2012

I stole the name from the Oatmeal comics.

Every time I scroll down my Facebook newsfeed these days, I either go “No one cares” or “You’re getting deleted today”, except for posts from a few people I genuinely like. Following are a few things that people do to piss me off:

1.     Photography pages. Everywhere and by everyone. You got a SLR? Great, now I know that you have 30k to waste. However, what I’m really not interested in knowing is how bad a photographer you are. Took a photo of a poor lady on the street? Asked your maid to stand with a straight face and then captioned it “Simplicity”? Took a photo of yourself in the mirror with the SLR covering 95% of your face? Saw a flower in the garden and then used an app to do selective coloring? Used Picassa to change the color scheme to Sepia? Guess what, douchebag. You’re not a photographer.

2.     Satyamev Jayate. It’s a good TV show where Aamir Khan overacts and pretends like he gives a shit about all those causes, but he’s getting paid for it, so its fine when he does it. You’re not getting paid for that 10 line status update. So just skip the bullshit, finish watching Satyamev Jayate at 12.30, go and eat a Sunday morning brunch or something and then take a nap.

3.     Vacation photos. You’re on a vacation. Its supposed to be different from your usual routine. You’re supposed to ACTUALLY go out and explore things, go to museums in NYC, go to the backwaters in Kerala, take a trip to Scotland Wineries whilst you’re in the UK.. not just take a million pseudo intellectual photos in front of Landmark monuments. And seriously, if you’re glued to your smart phone while standing in Times Square, then you’ve got the whole concept of being on a vacation wrong.

4.     Bandwagon-ing. I might be wrong about this, but I’m just going to go ahead and say it. I mourn the loss of Rajesh Khanna, but it doesn’t affect me in any way whatsoever, because all I know about him is that he was an actor. That is all. I’m assuming that most of the people who’re my age also possess the same knowledge, and hence need to stop being pretentious. Posting about how you’re devastated over the loss of someone who you knew nothing about makes you sound stupid and idiotic.

5.     The photography point again. Just go and delete your Facebook photography page and stop watermarking your terrible images that no one would steal even if forced to.

That is all. Thanks for reading.

Let me know what pisses you off about the internet these days and maybe I’ll elaborate on it and add it to these 5 points.