Delhi - A Dog's Point of View.

As I was walking down the street, generally sniffing and peeing on the poles, I was wondering how less Delhi – The Capital of India has done for me. What I might say in the next few stanzas might seem bitchy and pessimistic but I’m just showing the reality.

One. It’s a treasure hunt to find a garden or a public park where I can roam around freely. The moment I enter a park, some old man comes up to me and shows me a rock or something. What does he think I am? He doesn’t own the park, what right does he have to say anything to me? If I survive the Old man, the Gardener attacks me. He is afraid that I might pluck flowers or dirty the garden. Me plucking flowers is an issue but when he plucks roses for his love interest who’s hiding behind the bench or the tree, its fine. Bah. And then there are the children. They look at me in amusement as if I’m E.T. or something. Get a life, Kids!

Two. When I’m wandering about the streets, people change their lanes and prefer to stay at least a 100 m away from me. What they most probably think is that I’ll bite them. Can you believe it? I’ll bite them! As if I have no class. Aunties walking on the streets pretending to exercise but actually gossiping and exchanging recipes look at me and pity and then change their lanes. Little do they know that I hang out all day while they go back home and run after their nasty kids.

Three. These Paris Hilton wannabes who have increased the population of these Chihuahuas really makes me want to throw up. Where are the real men? Where are the German Shepherds and the Dobermans? If we continue to manufacture creatures like Chihuahuas, the world come to an end before 21/12/2012. They sit in their owner’s bags all day waiving their micro sized tails and do nothing at all. I say – take them to a jungle and roast the ones who survive.

Four. Veterinarians. There’s just one doctor for everything – from an upset stomach to a heart attack. Is this fair? Humans have specialized doctors for gums too and all we get is a single multi tasker? And that too one who deals in cats, birds and horses too. What if he bunked some of his classes and has no idea as to what to do with my shiny hair?

Five. And my favorite one. These Page 3 ladies who stick to attending parties at night but open up a pet salon to kill time during the day. Our owners, thinking that their pets would like nice after an expensive session of doggy-aroma-therapy and a-bow-tie-haircut leave us at these salons for a couple of hours, which turn out to be the most stressful hours of our lives. They provide hardly any services and send us back home with a pretty pink ribbon all around our necks. Wear that ribbon to your party tonight, Mrs. XYZ!

Very sad. Bhow.